It’s been a while. I missed a month here. I think I have all the properly lined up excuses for why, given I’ve been dealing with a million doctors appointments and rapidly declining health. Life, it happens however it sees fit, not how it fits in your schedule!

So, the pandemic is still going strong, the hockey bubble is working, we’re still marching and begging for equal rights, and now we’ve added two hurricanes and about a bajillion fires to the mix. It’s still an emotionally trying time, but humanity is still plodding along. I want to see change, I want to see equality, I want to see diversity and inclusion and happiness. Right now, I have to remind myself daily to stop DoomScrolling. (I’ve seen that term about 20 times now and frankly, it’s an honest reflection of social media right now – scroll to see the doom and remind yourself to stop at some point.) Seeing all these pictures of the world glowing red in some places due to the fires, seeing social media pics of peaceful marches but big media not reporting on it at all unless it involved an issue, seeing people in complete disregard of COVID still existing… it’s exhausting. And while it’s all very needed to be seen, it’s also okay to take a step back and breathe for a minute. Self-care is also important. Remember that. (That’s a note to me as much as to you, here’s hoping we all heed it.)

So, let’s do a positivity sandwich. I’ll start with a positive, chunk in my negative, and wrap it up with a positive. It’s like critiquing for reality.

First off, editing! I now have 4 editors and we’re still working our way through. Everyone’s lives are getting in the way, as to be understood, so things are slower than I’d wanted when I originally aimed to get this thing out there in the world. I’d thought I would be ready for a October 2020 release, but I definitely am not. One editor is done, 3 others are partway through, and I still don’t have a cover image. I do have all my commissioned artwork for the logos for the team, which is awesome!

I feel like at least we won’t still be finding a million things that could be better once it goes live, so that’s a positive, despite it being a slow road. Plus, with GRL cancelled this year, my reason for wanting to release in October is irrelevant anyway. So… onward! Just hoping for ‘soon’ instead of a date at this point. Once I have funds for the cover, maybe I can pick a more concrete sort of date.

So, about my health… I’m in the midst of trying to figure out what’s going on with me. We’ve pretty much settled on it either being autoimmune or my liver failing and I have about a million doctors appointments to do to find out what it is and try to make positive changes in my life to either help or try to fix what’s going on. So far, we’ve changed one med that could affect liver and I have an appointment Monday to try to change more if need be. Overall, I’m scared and miserable about 80% of the time, so trying to find time to actually care about anything outside of my health has also been challenging.

That being said, this is life. Full of ups and downs and I’m just in a down before the next up. I always used to view negative things happening to me as the storm before something awesome happened in my life. Like I had to pay up in some way before I got a good thing. I’m just saying, in this case, it better be good. In the meantime, deep breath, use my anxiety coping techniques, and take life one day at a time.

Onward to the other slice of bread in the positivity sandwich! This morning I woke to see a ton of posts about a young hockey player who took a huge step and came out as gay. We’ve had a few in the past few months and most of them have stepped away from the game as they did it. (A hockey player in the UK came out as bisexual quite a while ago and still plays!) As far as I can tell from the articles, this guy is planning on staying, which HURRAY! The articles talk about how he’s gotten a lot of support and his teammates have talked and texted and overall it’s really hopeful. The guy, Yanic Duplessis, even says he thinks things have come a long way. It echoes the sentiment of one of our NAHL hockey boys I was speaking with during the writing of my book and how he thinks things are getting better and will keep doing so.

Some of the things he says in the article are actually things I’d included in my book that my main character is afraid of and my heart just… ugh. May have teared up a bit reading some of it. Everything in me hopes this kid gets overwhelming positive support.

Let’s keep this ball rolling, let’s keep showing progress and change and dreaming for more.

I talk about hope a lot in my book… this is why. Hope is what keeps us going.

Links to the articles if you would like to see them: CBC News Article / Quebec AM Radio Interview (embedded in CBS News Site) / Original Coming Out Article on FDS Podcast Network

And, if you get a minute, keep an eye on what’s going on with the Hockey Diversity Alliance, PrideTape, and YouCanPlay.

PS

A few quick updates on things. I did upload rewritten books for 2 of my old ones. The other will take more work and it’s so old and ignored I’m not sure it’s worth it. Maybe eventually.

I’m still exercising daily, have only missed 3 days since I started what feels like eons ago. I now also do a bigger workout at least once a week and sometimes when I pass my workout square, I just do a few pushups because I feel like it. I find new ways to push myself every day. Not aiming for weight loss, just for knowing I’m doing a healthy thing. That’s it.

If you haven’t checked out a fantastic human being, I encourage you to go take a look at Kurtis Gabriel. He’s willing to have the hard conversations and is an intense supporter of LGBTQA+ rights and inclusion.